No Pity for the Masses

The Turing Test is well known in the computer science field. It’s a proposal for a test that asks whether a computer can demonstrate intelligence. You see, despite my grandmother’s adorable assumption that her computer knows everything about her, computers only know what you tell them. On top of that they can only act as they are programmed, for the most part. AI has come a long way but it’s still a far cry from skynet.

If you follow the wiki link above for the Turing Test and follow it down to ‘Weaknesses’ you’ll see the biggest problems: humans are dumb, fallible, and irrational. How do you train something coached in logic to be illogical? This isn’t Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, the computer isn’t going to suddenly have an emotional moment after saving the whales. You could argue that a sufficiently powerful computer (think Hitchhikers Guide) could account for all possibilities but this isn’t the reality in which we live… yet.

Technology will continue to blur the line between human and machine but not in the ways people think. If the Turing Test was quantifiable lets say the current state is 10 out of 100. Lets also say that the test output is filtered using a language to text msg. parser that communicates via cell phone with 15-20 year olds. It has been shown time and again the best way to simulate human behavior is to introduce failure. For example replace every “the” with ‘teh’ to simulate poor typing skills. All of us use cues like these to bucket our social hierarchy. By translating proper English to acronyms and teen colloquialisms we add another layer of obfuscation to a computer’s output. This additional layer blurs our AI’s speech such that the score of 10 of 100 above becomes 20 of 100 without changing the response set.

For Example:

Computer: I am having a nice day outdoors.
Conversion: gr8 day 2b out

Alright so I missed the text msg. generational mark, cut me some slack on the bad example. I text as much as the next kid but I prefer full sentences (thanks to my full qwerty keyboard.) I still punctuate my instant msgs. The point is apparent though. As an end user if you weren’t given clues as to the authors identity I would contend that most would say the converted text is from a real person.

It will get easier to simulate teen behavior the more prevalent social networking becomes in our daily lives. Information, language, & pictures are all readily available to the public. What was once difficult to quantify, teen behavior, is now open to the world. It will be much simpler to spoof an awkward teen than a philosopher. Like computers most highschoolers can’t discuss the human condition on any but the most rudimentary levels.

So be warned, when the end is nigh and it will come as a text msg: “All your base are belong to us”

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.  [a man puts a body on the cart]
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not.
The Dead Collector: He isn’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I don’t want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can’t take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when’s your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I think I’ll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

  There isn’t a day in my life that can’t be explained through a Monty Python bit.  (The inverse is not true, I have not tried to return a dead parrot nor do I leap through doors yelling “Noooo body expects the Spanish Inquisition!)

I’m posting this small bit to say that I’m not dead despite the lack of blog updates.  Been busy packing up the apartment, getting ready for graduate school, and stressing out over my upcoming wedding.  I look forward to the day when all I have on my plate is work and school.

Also just got back from seeing Nine Inch Nails in Chicago.  Chris and I flew down for their last tour.  Aside from not playing “Closer” the concert was a blast.   We managed to snag front row seats on the balcony.  This might not sound great but keep in mind that the entire concert is general admission and the floor is standing room only.  Being the old men that we are we wanted the best possible vantage the required the least amount of exertion.  My phone has a few photos from the show that I’ll post so ppl. can see how good our view was.

Peace.

Coding Horror did a great little story on the Evony ads you have probably seen floating around. They look like this:

Take a look at Jeff Atwood’s post above and look at the progression from relevant to outright lie. And in case you are wondering, this is what the game actually looks like:

I don’t see any semi-nude women… maybe they’re indoors or off servicing the “lord.” All 16-bits of them. At that resolution it’s what, maybe 4 pixels per breast? Like some sort sexy tetris side boob. If you blur it enough it could be sexy, nothing hotter than a Gaussian filter.

Where is the subtlety, the romance, the raw passion? As lord of a kingdom I don’t want women just throwing themselves at my feet. I want to do what all great lords have done, I want to subjugate the populace and pillage what I want, women included. It’s a good thing I’m not a feudal lord, I’m pretty sure if I tried to kidnap my fiancee from the streets she’d beat the piss out of me.

Personally I think the ads should have gone a different route. It’s all about truth in advertising:

*Jack pot.